Wait, no, I need to start earlier. This past summer at the life-changing, high-altitude Taos Toolbox writing workshop, Kelly Link (amazing writer and mindblowing instructor) provided a fascinating, detailed description of the “sparkly vampire” genre. And it made me think, “OMG, I have got to go check out this sparkly vampire stuff!” So I went out and read Twilight.
In retrospect, I should have realized that Kelly Link’s description of a thing is very likely to be far more interesting than said thing itself.
For those of you unfamiliar with the plot (of both movie and book), the short version is below the fold. Spoilers abound, if such a thing is possible.